Yes, that is the motto of new, local tanning salon, OBX Tanning. And, double yes, my friends let me get paler than pale. Now, I have never knocked being pale before. I happened to think that dusty, vampire look gave me an edge in general. Like a bright, mysterious angel in the sunlight. Sunbeams bouncing off of my translucent skin would make everyone think I was some sort of fairy creature, right??
Well as great as that illusion was, being tan is so much better. Before I get a bunch of emails about the health risks…I am totally aware of what the risks are. It’s hard to ignore those gross pictures on the wall. But I’m young, and have varicose veins that are completely visible through my borderline unpigmented skin soooooo STAHP, RON JUST LET ME GTL.
Anyway, I had a hard time picking a tanning bed, to say the least. I have a big badonk, and I can’t stand those small regular beds, but high intensity beds at a regular place are expensive as renting Ryan Gosling for the night…and I think it is fair to say, I would rather be as white as the snow for the rest of my life than pass up a night with Ryan Gosling. I also can’t really be in a super hot box for more than 12 minutes so high intensity had to be the way to go. Futhermore, I am super lazy so I also wanted my tanning experience to be really close to my physical location at all times.
It took a little bit of looking, but I found my tanning mecca. My holy grail of bronzing. OBX Tanning off of Hillsborough Street. This place had exactly what I was looking for: big beds, good location, a cute dog, and people to help me get as dark as this vampire skin will allow.
OBX is family owned and operated by the Pruitt family, who are the beachiest and most non-judgmental people I’ve met in my tanning experiences. I mean really non-judgmental. I’ve asked about those buttcheek tan lines, boobage tan lines…you name it. Wait, I forgot to mention their beds have this light show extravaganza thing going on. As in, they change colors on the outside while you get your ish back together. But for someone like me, I find that highly entertaining. I also learned I like how I look with a pinkish glow radiating around me. I’m going to need someone to figure out how to get this effect 24/7.
If you don’t have time for the beach or vacation like me, go fake it and pretend you spent a week in the Caribbean and make all of your friends jealous and feel like pale losers!!! (Not really…Pale People of America do not send me hate mail).
ATTENTION: If you would like a coupon for
OBX Tanning, either Buy One Tan Get One Free, $5 Tan, or Free Lotion with Tanning Purchase, email me at
postgradraleigh@shoplocalraleigh.org (sorry again for the length of this email address) with your name and address and I will send you one!
Well as great as that illusion was, being tan is so much better. Before I get a bunch of emails about the health risks…I am totally aware of what the risks are. It’s hard to ignore those gross pictures on the wall. But I’m young, and have varicose veins that are completely visible through my borderline unpigmented skin soooooo STAHP, RON JUST LET ME GTL.
OBX is family owned and operated by the Pruitt family, who are the beachiest and most non-judgmental people I’ve met in my tanning experiences. I mean really non-judgmental. I’ve asked about those buttcheek tan lines, boobage tan lines…you name it. Wait, I forgot to mention their beds have this light show extravaganza thing going on. As in, they change colors on the outside while you get your ish back together. But for someone like me, I find that highly entertaining. I also learned I like how I look with a pinkish glow radiating around me. I’m going to need someone to figure out how to get this effect 24/7.
